Secret to a LONG Relationship!

First of all, lemme tell you something for all you people who hold on to the other person because your too afraid to let go, you’re afraid of being lonely when you break up, you’re just in it for the “benefits”, if you’re the type who keeps their relationship long to claim that you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, or if you’re greedy and don’t want other people to have him/her. 

My girlfriend and I have bumped into people who know how strong our relationship is, and they try to copy us by keeping the other person for that reason alone. All I have to say is, Get a LIFE and don’t copy us, please. It’s so unhealthy to see couples do the aforementioned and feel miserable throughout that period in time. Be yourself. Be truthful even if it eats your heart and burns you alive, Be honest. Truly Love. This is what I I live by, and it’s the reason why my girlfriend and I have been together since the age of 14.

Some people aren’t themselves. When they get hyper or excited they overreact, act like a fool, etc., and they don’t truly act the way they do if they were in a totally comfortable living situation. I bet you, if you were at home you’d COMPLETELY act like yourself. Correct? No one to impress, you’re at home, no one can ridicule you (and if they do you could care less cause it doesnt hurt your image), and you are relaxed. I bet if you went out with friends, or if they came over to your house, some of you might act like an idiot just to show your family how “cool” you are, or whatever.

If you like something, and another person or significant other doesn’t, dont be a wuss and back down from your opinion, or forcibly try to change your position of the issue in your mind so you can be the same as the other person. You won’t truly be happy, and you’ll probably end up living with the other person’s opinion of a certain issue just because you don’t want to argue, or just to keep things simple and agree on the same thing, so you have “one more piece of common ground you can relate to.”                                                                                                                                                                                                                          
Be truthful. Don’t LIE. DOO NOOOT LIIEE!!! i cannot stress that enough. DO NOT LIE. EVEN ONCE. Maybe for really really really really little things, you can fib sparingly, it really depends on what it is. BUT DO NOT LIE. It’ll come back, believe me. That means, no cheating. Do not cheat. For all those who cheat, I HATE YOU. I’ve hated people who cheat, and I still do. I get pissed getting late night phone calls from girls who I comfort at 2 in the morning, all sobbing because their boyfriend “hit n quit”, abused them, used them for monetary purposes, etc.

If there’s anyone I hate, it’s players who practice the utmost disrespect for women. Go ahead and call me a player hater, I don’t care. Some people change I guess, but damn. If you were to tell me you cheated once before, but have miraculously transformed into a saint, you would have to earn my respect by doing something convincing because all I can remember of you is that point in time where you’ve cheated on someone. It’s painful. Thank goodness I haven’t really felt the pain. but I feel for and absorb the pain in the people who tell me they’ve been cheated on. It hurts so don’t do it!

Honesty is the best policy. A clear conscience is the way to go. I’ll give you an example. A boy and girl have a relationship. The girl isn’t really cool with the boy drinking. The boy doesn’t even drink much at all, probably at a few social events but that’s it. So the boy tells the girl he’ll be out with his homies. He doesn’t plan to drink, but he ends up taking 5 double shots of Jack, gets buzzed, sobers up completely, then goes home.

Now in this situation it is implied that they both trust each other. So anyway, the boy doesn’t even need to tell the girl, he can say nothing happened. Yet the best way to go believe it or not is to tell the other party. Why? because its a good practice. It’s moral. It’s just. It’s best to live life with a clear conscience. What comes around goes around, and this is only a small example.

What if you went out with your boys, and you didn’t know girls were coming. One of the girls thought you were hot, and started kissin’ up on you, even if you tried to back away, and your friends wouldn’t tell? It’ll get around somehow. Be honest. Dont cut any corners. If you love your significant other like you say you do, then prove it to yourself. If not, that relationship shouldn’t even exist. A good man once told me: “The reason why people don’t succeed in life is because they give up what they want most, for what they want in the moment.” Reflect on that for a minute.

This last part is about the real reason of why you two lovebirds got together. It starts with physical attraction, then you find that personality of the guy or girl is decent, you date and go out, and finally you’re together. Feels good huh? Yes it does. I remember when I first dated my girlfriend. The feeling was indescribable, and nothing still tops that moment.

Months pass. 3 months. 4 months. 6 months. 8 months. Here is where some are and aren’t yet ready to say that they “love” each other. Love here is questionable. It’s either true or you just “super dee duper really really are infatuated and into the person.” I wouldn’t know. If you know it you’ll feel that love…and dont lie to yourself. It’s like digging yourself into a hole every time you find yourself in denial. Don’t be that person and say you do if you really aren’t. If you don’t, you just dont. Accept that. The hardest part of a relationship is to accept failure, your faults, your disagreements, your differences. 

You feel as if you just want to be like that person, and you’re willing to change yourself just so you can still be with them, because if they get bored with you then you’re dumped. Don’t be stupid, 90% of you know what i’m talking about. Shoot, it happened to me at one point, I won’t lie. But it’s the learning and growing from it that keeps the relationship alive. Wouldn’t you rather find your true love rather than to keep a person you REEEEEEEALLLLY “LOVE” that you are in denial with, thinking that you really love them? 

Let me tell you something: If they’re not the one, then they’re not the one. If you get dumped, you’re dumped. Boo Hoo, cry over it, get over it, move on. That soulmate of yours is waiting for you. In golf, some people call bad shots a “SHAM Rocket”. SHAM meaning, Shit Happens, Accept it, Move on. It hurts like no other, I’m telling you from past experience. For goodness sake your toying with love here, the most sensitive thing in the existence of the universe. No one can hurt you most than the one that is most dear to you. But sometimes you just gotta bite the bullet and take it. Yea it sucks, but dont deny that what has to be done, has to be done

…and if you STILL want to work stuff out, or say “Baby i love you! come back!”, or be whiny about it…you’re wasting your time. There are times where couples break up and get back together for the 100th time. It’s not bad to go back, because that person may be the one, but don’t force it. If you really loved the other person, don’t be selfish and keep them, let them go. You love them right? Let them be free as they wish. If they come back, theyre yours.

You cannot force love. Any love that is forced isn’t true love, therefore isnt true happiness. Truly Love.

This is what I experienced in my relationship. Love is beautiful. Care for it, and you will find yourself always happy. Remember though, no one loves perfectly. Only God. In a relationship there will always be trials and struggles, but look at them as healthy because they test to see if the both of you are down to fix the problems that you face time and again. There have been times where my girlfriend and I hated each other, there have been times where 24 hours wasn’t enough for one day. But in the end, the foundation of the relationship is love, and that is our strength, joy, and happiness. We go to church, we pray with/for each other, and we go to each others’ houses to be with each others’ families. If you put your heart into the relationship and really care for it, you will be astonished by the outcome, and you will get everything back that you put into the relationship ten-fold.

If the other party says, “man this relationship isn’t working” because they’re a natural mingler, or a person who tried a relationship in the past and hated it, then let them go. Don’t chase after them and try to convince them to be something they’re not. Let them go because they have their own time and place with their own destined person. Remember to accept reality, tell the truth, and nuture your love. I hope this helps you all.

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