4 Ways to Better Speaking

There’s been a point in time where we’ve said something of value, yet the person receiving the message took it the wrong way. It’s all about how you present yourself that will make the difference. The way you regurgitate your thoughts into words can make or break the decision of an employer to hire you, or the way a person views you for the first time. Here are four ways that will help you:

If you must talk about your weaknesses, mention steps you’ve taken to deal with the difficulties.

You’re nervous. Your hands are getting clammy. You don’t want Mr. or Ms. Employer to ask the dreaded question: “What would you say are some of your weaknesses?” The worst way to approach this is to be completely blunt about it. Don’t just give them the answer of “I tend to get lazy” or “I can be late at times”. You will just incriminate yourself and the chances of getting your dream job will seem like a longshot. What should you do? Tell them the truth, but fire back immediately with your plan of action. “Mr. Employer, i’ve faced the difficulty of time management and organization in the past, but I have improved the setback through the use of pocket organizers, planners….” This will show the employer that you aren’t being lazy about it, but actually putting some sort of effort to better yourself.

Constructive Criticism

When you have something to say, be nice. Make sure the words that come out of your mouth contain value. Let’s say my girl cousin comes up to me and says, “I really don’t think I look good today…do I?” What will your response be? If you agree with what she’s saying, don’t just say “Yes”. She’s looking for more, maybe to be comforted and told that it’s okay to not look so dazzling. Rather than hurting her feelings say, “You don’t look your best, but it’s cool, don’t even worry about it! We all have those days.” Then after you can say something like, “We’re just going to the park to play basketball it’s not like anyone cares.” Simply affirming that you agree with her will hurt her feelings. It will seem as if you feel strongly about her plain looks even if you say yes the nicest way possible. You DO believe she doesn’t look her best, but you’ve said it with such comforting words that her confidence and self-esteem will only increase because she knows she has support.

Never say NO

“No T.V.! No Radio! No Computer! Go back and do your homework! Homework is first before anything!” Imagine your mom saying that to you after you come home after a long day of elementary school. It only made me want to bend the rules even more and find a way to do the things I wanted with no interruption. I hated hearing “No!” and being put down. It felt like I was mentally spanked in the behind. Now when my dad came home, he would sometimes catch me and take me aside. “Oliver, you can watch T.V. until the episode is over, then go back and do your homework.” I would reply, “But I want to watch T.V. because my favorite show is going on soon.” My dad would then say, “Okay that’s fine. You can watch T.V. whenever you want, but you have to finish your homework first and then you can watch, okay?” Did you see the difference between the two? The second example was much more encouraging. The incentive was freedom, and in order to get there my only obstacle was homework. What do you think I did? I did my homework. See how easy that was? When the opportunity arises, try that.

 Keep your cool.

It was January 5th 2003. I was on a plane from Rome, Italy to Los Angeles. We were above the Atlantic Ocean until turbulence hit. All of us passengers felt the plane go up and down as if some big baby took our plane and shook it with its hands. I tried to sleep through it until 20 minutes later when I heard the capatin’s voice over the speaker. He told us that due to the turbulence the left engine has stopped working, but not to worry because we are at cruising altitude and will be redirected to the Reykjavik, Iceland airport. We didn’t notice any engine failure, and we landed safely in Iceland. Imagine the captain speaking in a loud voice “Attention everyone! We are still over the Atlantic and the left engine failed on us! We hope we can make it to another airport. Please stay in your seats!” I don’t think I want to hear that he “hopes” to make it. We later found out that the left engine caught on fire inside, but the plane shot chemicals inside to contain the flame. If you are tempted to say something that isn’t that devastating (even though that flame was kinda serious), or can be gone without being said, then don’t speak. Never create doubts in others’ minds that don’t even exist. You just dig a deeper hole for yourself. Talk calmly, but get the point across.

Remember when you attempt these suggestions, Perfect Practice Makes Perfect.

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